Once there was a very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose parents emphasised for him to get married. They had seen so many marriage proposals, and he had turned them all down. The parents thought it was becoming a little ridiculous or suspected that he may have someone else in mind. However every time the parents left the girls house, the young man would always say she’s not the one! The young man only wanted a girl who was religious and practising, however one evening his mother arranged for him, to meet a girl, who was religious, and practising. On that evening, the young men, and the girl, were left to talk, and ask each other question. (As one would expect).
The young man, being a gentleman that he was allowed, the lady to ask first. The young girl asked the young man so many questions, she asked about his life, his education, his friends, his family, his habits, his hobbies, his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his pastime, his experiences, his shoe size, etc. The young man replied to all of her questions, without tiring, and politely, with a smile the young girl took up nearly all of the time, over an hour, and felt bad, and asked the young man do you have any questions? The young man said, “Its ok. I only have 3 questions.” The young girl thought, “Wow, ONLY 3 questions okay.”
The young man’s 1st question was,
Q1: “Who do you love the most in the world, someone whose love nothing would ever overcome?”
A1: She said; “this is an easy question, my mother.” he smiled
Q2: “you said that you read a lot of Qur’an, could you tell me which surahs you know the meaning of?”
A2: Hearing this she went red and embarrassed and said: “I do not know the meaning of any yet, but I am hoping to soon Insha’Allah I’ve just been a bit busy.”
Q3: “I have been approached for my hand in marriage, by girls that are a lot prettier than you why should I marry you?”
A3: Hearing this young girl was outraged, she stormed off to her parents with fury, and said “I do not want to marry this man he is insulting my beauty, and intelligence.”
The young man and his parents were once again, left without an agreement of marriage. This time, the young man’s parents were really angry, and said “what did you do to anger that girl, the family were so nice, and pleasant, and they were religious like you wanted. What did you ask the girl?? Tell us!” The young man said, “1st I asked her, who do you love the most? She said her mother.” the parents said: “so, what is wrong with that?” The young man said: “no one, is Muslim, until he loves Allah, and his Messenger (SAW) more than anyone else in the world’. If a woman loves Allah and Rasulullah (SAW) more than anyone, she will love me and respect me, and stay faithful to me, because of that love, and fear for Allah. And we can share this love, because this love is greater than lust for beauty.”
The young man said: “the 2nd question I asked, you read a lot of Qur’an, can you tell me the meaning of any surah?” And she said no, because I haven’t had time yet. so I thought of that hadith ‘ALL humans, are dead except for those who have knowledge’ She has lived 20 years and not found ANY time, to seek knowledge, why would I marry a woman, who does not know her rights, and responsibilities, and what will she teach my children, except how to be negligent, because the woman IS the madressa (school) and the best of teachers. And a woman, who has no time for Allah, will not have time for her husband.”
“The 3rd question I asked her was that a lot of girls, prettier than her, had approached me for marriage, why should I choose you? That is why she stormed off, getting angry.” The young man’s parents said: “that is a horrible thing to say, why you would do such a thing? we are going back there to apologies.” The young man said: “I said this on purpose, to test whether she could control her anger. Rasulullah (SAW) said ‘do not get angry, do not get angry, do not get angry’ when asked how to become pious; because anger is from Shaytaan. If a woman cannot control her anger with a stranger she has just met, do you think she will be able to control it with her husband?”
- • Knowledge, not only out looking- Beauty.
- • Practice, not preaching/recitation only (millions of reciters are there). •
- Forgiveness, not Anger.
- • Spiritual love, not Lust.
- • Compromise!
One should look for a person who:
- • Has love for Allah and Rasulullah (SAW).
- • Has knowledge of the deen, and can act upon it.
- • Can control their anger
- • Willing to compromise.
It goes both ways, WOMEN SEEKING A MAN, SHOULD LOOK FOR THE SAME THINGS.
Ayesha (RA) reports: “one day I was on a camel which was somewhat difficult to control and the Rasulullah (SAW) remarked “you must be compassionate, whenever there is compassion in something it adorns it, and when it is removed from something it disgraces it.”
When a man goes to visit his sick Muslim brother, he walks along a path of Paradise until he sits, and when he sits he is cloaked in mercy. If he comes in the morning, seventy thousand angels pray for him until evening, and if he comes in the evening, seventy thousand angels pray for him until morning.
Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said: Whoever says:
Subhaanallaahi wa bihamdihi.
Glorified is Allah and praised is He, one hundred times a day, will have his sins forgiven even if they are like the foam of the sea.
Cosmetic surgery may be divided into two categories:
1 – Essential surgery:
These are operations that are done to remove faults, such as those that result from sickness, traffic accidents, burns, etc. or to remove congenital defects with which a person was born, such as to remove an extra digit or separate fused digits, etc.
This kind of operation is permissible. There is evidence in the Sunnah to indicate that they are permissible and that the one who does them does not intend to change the creation of Allaah.
(i) It was narrated from ‘Arfajah ibn As’ad that he lost his nose in the battle of al-Kulaab during the Jaahiliyyah, so he wore a nose made of silver but it became putrid, so the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told him to wear a nose made of gold. Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1770; Abu Dawood, 4232; al-Nasaa’i, 5161. This hadeeth was classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 824.
(ii) It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursing those women who pluck their eyebrows and file their teeth for the purpose of beautification and change the creation of Allaah. Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim.
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to the phrase “those who file their teeth”, this refers to those who did that for the purpose of beautification and looking younger. This indicates that what is haraam is that which is done for the purpose of beautification; but if it is needed for medical treatment or to correct a fault in the teeth and so on, there is nothing wrong with it. And Allaah knows best.
2 – The second type of cosmetic surgery is that which is done for the purpose of beautification.
These are operations that are done to improve the appearance in the eye of the beholder, such as making the nose look more beautiful by making it smaller, or making the breasts look more beautiful by making them smaller or larger, or facelifts, and so on.
This kind of surgery is not for any necessary reason, rather the purpose is to change the creation of Allaah and tinker with it according to people’s whims and desires. So this is haraam and it is not permissible to do it, because it is changing the creation of Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“They (all those who worship others than Allaah) invoke nothing but female deities besides Him (Allaah), and they invoke nothing but Shaytaan (Satan), a persistent rebel!
118. Allaah cursed him. And he [Shaytaan (Satan)] said: ‘I will take an appointed portion of your slaves.
119. ‘Verily, I will mislead them, and surely, I will arouse in them false desires; and certainly, I will order them to slit the ears of cattle, and indeed I will order them to change the nature created by Allaah’”
The Shaytaan is the one who tells people to change the creation of Allaah.
See: Ahkaam al-Jaraahah al-Tibbiyyah by Shaykh Muhammad al-Mukhtaar al-Shanqeeti.
When evening descends, bring your children indoors for the devils scatter out at this hour. Then after the passing of an hour (i.e. the first hour) of the night, (you may) let them (the children) go. Close your doors while mentioning the Name of Allah, for the devil may not open a closed door. Fasten your waterskins mentioning the Name of Allah. Cover your eating vessels mentioning the Name of Alah even if you just put something over it, and estinguish your lamps.