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A Story With A Moral: Why Should I Marry You? — June 22, 2012

A Story With A Moral: Why Should I Marry You?

Once there was a very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose parents emphasised for him to get married. They had seen so many marriage proposals, and he had turned them all down. The parents thought it was becoming a little ridiculous or suspected that he may have someone else in mind. However every time the parents left the girls house, the young man would always say she’s not the one! The young man only wanted a girl who was religious and practising, however one evening his mother arranged for him, to meet a girl, who was religious, and practising. On that evening, the young men, and the girl, were left to talk, and ask each other question. (As one would expect).

 The young man, being a gentleman that he was allowed, the lady to ask first. The young girl asked the young man so many questions, she asked about his life, his education, his friends, his family, his habits, his hobbies, his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his pastime, his experiences, his shoe size, etc. The young man replied to all of her questions, without tiring, and politely, with a smile the young girl took up nearly all of the time, over an hour, and felt bad, and asked the young man do you have any questions? The young man said, “Its ok. I only have 3 questions.” The young girl thought, “Wow, ONLY 3 questions okay.”

 The young man’s 1st question was,

Q1: “Who do you love the most in the world, someone whose love nothing would ever overcome?” 

A1: She said; “this is an easy question, my mother.” he smiled  

Q2: “you said that you read a lot of Qur’an, could you tell me which surahs you know the meaning of?”  

A2: Hearing this she went red and embarrassed and said: “I do not know the meaning of any yet, but I am hoping to soon Insha’Allah I’ve just been a bit busy.”  

Q3: “I have been approached for my hand in marriage, by girls that are a lot prettier than you why should I marry you?”  

A3: Hearing this young girl was outraged, she stormed off to her parents with fury, and said “I do not want to marry this man he is insulting my beauty, and intelligence.”  

The young man and his parents were once again, left without an agreement of marriage. This time, the young man’s parents were really angry, and said “what did you do to anger that girl, the family were so nice, and pleasant, and they were religious like you wanted. What did you ask the girl?? Tell us!”    The young man said, “1st I asked her, who do you love the most? She said her mother.” the parents said: “so, what is wrong with that?” The young man said: “no one, is Muslim, until he loves Allah, and his Messenger (SAW) more than anyone else in the world’. If a woman loves Allah and Rasulullah (SAW) more than anyone, she will love me and respect me, and stay faithful to me, because of that love, and fear for Allah. And we can share this love, because this love is greater than lust for beauty.”    

The young man said: “the 2nd question I asked, you read a lot of Qur’an, can you tell me the meaning of any surah?” And she said no, because I haven’t had time yet. so I thought of that hadith ‘ALL humans, are dead except for those who have knowledge’ She has lived 20 years and not found ANY time, to seek knowledge, why would I marry a woman, who does not know her rights, and responsibilities, and what will she teach my children, except how to be negligent, because the woman IS the madressa (school) and the best of teachers. And a woman, who has no time for Allah, will not have time for her husband.”

“The 3rd question I asked her was that a lot of girls, prettier than her, had approached me for marriage, why should I choose you? That is why she stormed off, getting angry.” The young man’s parents said: “that is a horrible thing to say, why you would do such a thing? we are going back there to apologies.” The young man said: “I said this on purpose, to test whether she could control her anger. Rasulullah (SAW) said ‘do not get angry, do not get angry, do not get angry’ when asked how to become pious; because anger is from Shaytaan. If a woman cannot control her anger with a stranger she has just met, do you think she will be able to control it with her husband?”

The Moral:

  • • Knowledge, not only out looking- Beauty.
  • • Practice, not preaching/recitation only (millions of reciters are there). •
  •  Forgiveness, not Anger.
  • • Spiritual love, not Lust.
  • • Compromise!

One should look for a person who:

  • • Has love for Allah and Rasulullah (SAW).
  • • Has knowledge of the deen, and can act upon it.
  • • Can control their anger
  • • Willing to compromise.

It goes both ways, WOMEN SEEKING A MAN, SHOULD LOOK FOR THE SAME THINGS.

 Ayesha (RA) reports: “one day I was on a camel which was somewhat difficult to control and the Rasulullah (SAW) remarked “you must be compassionate, whenever there is compassion in something it adorns it, and when it is removed from something it disgraces it.”

Why She Won’t Wear Hijab! — November 19, 2011

Why She Won’t Wear Hijab!

Why She Won’t Wear Hijab!

A Discussion by A.Q. Alidost

A conversation for Muslim sisters:

“I’m so tired.”

“Tired of what?”

“Of all these people judging me.”

“Who judged you?”

“Like that woman, every time I sit with her, she tells me to wear hijab.”

“Oh, hijab and music! The mother of all topics!”

“Yeah! I listen to music without hijab… haha!”

“Maybe she was just giving you advice.”

“I don’t need her advice. I know my religion. Can’t she mind her own business?”

“Maybe you misunderstood. She was just being nice.”

“Keeping out of my business, that would be nice…”

“But it’s her duty to encourage you do to good.”

“Trust me. That was no encouragement. And what do you mean ‘good’?”

“Well, wearing hijab, that would be a good thing to do.”

“Says who?”

“It’s in the Quran, isn’t it?”

“Yes. She did quote me something.”

“She said Surah Nur, and other places of the Quran.”

“Yes, but it’s not a big sin anyway. Helping people and praying is more important.”

“True. But big things start with small things.”

“That’s a good point, but what you wear is not important. What’s important is to have a good healthy heart.”

“What you wear is not important?”

“That’s what I said.”

“Then why do you spend an hour every morning fixing up?”

“What do you mean?”

“You spend money on cosmetics, not to mention all the time you spend on fixing your hair and low-carb dieting.”

“So?”

“So, your appearance IS important.”

“No. I said wearing hijab is not an important thing in religion.”

“If it’s not an important thing in religion, why is it mentioned in the Noble Quran?”

“You know I can’t follow all that’s in Quran.”

“You mean God tells you something to do, you disobey and then it’s OK?”

“Yes. God is forgiving.”

“God is forgiving to those who repent and do not repeat their mistakes.”

“Says who?”

“Says the same book that tells you to cover.”

“But I don’t like hijab, it limits my freedom.”

“But the lotions, lipsticks, mascara and other cosmetics set you free?!

What’s your definition of freedom anyway?”

“Freedom is in doing whatever you like to do.”

“No. Freedom is in doing the right thing, not in doing whatever we wish to do.”

“Look! I’ve seen so many people who don’t wear hijab and are nice people, and so many who wear hijab and are bad people.”

“So what? There are people who are nice to you but are alcoholic. Should we all be alcoholics? You made a stupid point.”

“I don’t want to be an extremist or a fanatic. I’m OK the way I am without hijab.”

“Then you are a secular fanatic. An extremist in disobeying God.”

“You don’t get it, if I wear hijab, who would marry me?!”

“So all these people with hijab never get married?!”

“Okay! What if I get married and my husband doesn’t like it? And wants me to remove it?”

“What if your husband wants you to go out with him on a bank robbery?!”

“That’s irrelevant, bank robbery is a crime.”

“Disobeying your Creator is not a crime?”

“But then who would hire me?”

“A company that respects people for who they are.”

“Not after 9-11”

Yes. After 9-11. Don’t you know about Hanan who just got into med school?

And the other one, what was her name, the girl who always wore a white hijab… ummm…”

“Yasmin?”

“Yes. Yasmin. She just finished her MBA and is now interning for GE.”

“Why do you reduce religion to a piece of cloth anyway?”

“Why do you reduce womanhood to high heals and lipstick colors?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“In fact, I did. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth. It is obeying God in a difficult environment. It is courage, faith in action, and true womanhood.

But your short sleeves, tight pants…”

“That’s called ‘fashion’, you live in a cave or something? First of all, hijab was founded by men who wanted to control women.”

“Really? I did not know men could control women by hijab.”

“Yes. That’s what it is.”

“What about the women who fight their husbands to wear hijab? And women in France who are forced to remove their hijab by men? What do you say about that?”

“Well, that’s different.”

“What difference? The woman who asked you to wear hijab… she was a woman, right?”

“Right, but…”

“But fashions that are designed and promoted by male-dominated corporations, set you free? Men have no control on exposing women and using them as a commodity?! Give me a break!”

“Wait, let me finish, I was saying…”

“Saying what? You think that men control women by hijab?”

“Yes.”

“Specifically how?”

“By telling women how and what to wear, dummy!”

“Doesn’t TV, magazines and movies tell you what to wear, and how to be ‘attractive’?”

“Of course, it’s fashion.”

“Isn’t that control? Pressuring you to wear what they want you to wear?”

[Silence]

“Not just controlling you, but also controlling the market.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic like that woman on the cover of the magazine, by men who design those magazines and sell those products.”

“I don’t get it. What does hijab have to do with products.”

“It has everything to do with that. Don’t you see? Hijab is a threat to consumerism, women who spend billions of dollars to look skinny and live by standards of fashion designed by men… and then here is Islam, saying trash all that nonsense and focus on your soul, not on your looks, and do not worry what men think of your looks.”

“Like I don’t have to buy hijab? Isn’t hijab a product?”

“Yes, it is. It is a product that sets you free from male-dominated consumerism.”

“Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB!

It is awkward, outdated, and totally not suitable for this society… Moreover, I am only 20 and too young to wear hijab!”

“Fine. Say that to your Lord, when you face Him on Judgment Day.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

[Silence]

“Shut up and I don’t want to hear more about hijab niqab schmijab Punjab!”

[Silence]

She stared at the mirror, tired of arguing with herself all this time.

Successful enough, she managed to shut the voices in her head, with her own opinions triumphant in victory on the matter, and a final modern decision accepted by the society – but rejected by the Faith:

“Yes!” – to curls on the hair – “No!” – to hijab!

“And he (/she) is indeed a failure who corrupts it [the soul]!” [Noble Quran 91:10]

Subhana’Allah!!!

“Nay! You prefer the life of this world; While the hereafter is better and more lasting.” [Noble Quran 87:16-17]

“You are the best community (Ummah) raised up for (the benefit of) humanity; enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong and believing in Allah.” [Noble Quran 3:110]

http://www.islamswomen.com/hijab/why_she_wont_wear_hijab.php

My Mother – Love of Mother — October 30, 2011

My Mother – Love of Mother

My Mother Only had one eye…I hated her… she was such an embarrassment. My mom ran a small shop at a flea market. She collected little weeds and such to sell… anything for the money we needed,she cooked for students & teachers to support the family,she was such an embarrassment.

There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me.

I was so embarrassed.

How could she do this to me?!

I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.

The next day at school one of my classmates said, “EEEE, your mom only has one eye!”

I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear.

So I confronted her that day and said, ” If you’re only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die?!!!”

My mother remained silent…

I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger.

I was oblivious to her feelings…

I wanted out of her house..

I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think that I had said what I’d wanted to say all this time.

Maybe it was because my mom hadn’t punished me, but I didn’t think that I had hurt her feelings very badly.

That night… I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me. I took a look at her, and then turned away. Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of her one eye. So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful, because I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty.

Then I studied really hard. I left my mother and came to Seoul and studied, and got accepted in the Seoul University with all the confidence I had. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now I’m living happily as a successful man. I like it here because it’s a place that doesn’t remind me of my mom.

This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when someone unexpected came to see me. “What?! Who’s this?!”… It was my mother… Still with her one eye. It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran away, scared of my mom’s eye.

And I asked her, “Who are you? I don’t know you!!!” as if I tried to make that real. I screamed at her “How dare you come to my house and scare my daughter! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!” And to this, my mother quietly answered, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,” and she disappeared. Thank goodness… she doesn’t recognize me. I was quite relieved. I told myself that I wasn’t going to care, or think about this for the rest of my life.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house.

After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.

My neighbors said that my mother had died.

I did not shed a single tear.

They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have…

My son… I think my life has been long enough now. And… I won’t visit Seoul anymore… but would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come visit me once in a while? I miss you so much. And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I decided not to go to the school… For you… I’m sorry that I only have one eye, and I was an embarrassment for you.

You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye… so I gave you mine… I was so proud of my son that was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. I was never upset at you for anything you did. The couple times that you were angry with me, I thought to myself, “it’s because he loves me.” I miss the times when you were still young around me.

I miss you so much. I love you. You mean the world to me.

With my love to you..

Your mother

May Allah (swt) grant jannah to all the self-sacrificing mothers in this world, ameen.

A mother’s love is never ending, but is always taken for granted don’t you think my friends?

Subhanallah its amazing cause what if the womb we were in as a babies got knocked slightly,say our mother had an accident and slipped,we would Allah forbid come out deformed right?
Its amazing how mothers take such good care of their child.The 9 months a mother goes through,the child could never ever repay her back.

How can we not love her ? After all she done so much for us

How do you feel about your mother?
Love her?
Hate her?
Cant be botherd with her?

How much does the love of a mother cost?

Would You Sacrifice For her?

Do we really love her?
Will we look after her before she passes away?

Brothers and sisters these are not hard questions.

We Gotta love our mother no matter what

Are we one of them?

Advice: Dont Aband your parents, after all they are our parents, they’ve done soo much for us

Allah (Glory and Greatness be to Him) says in Hadith al-Qudsi: I swear by My Glory and power that if a (child who is) disobedient to his parents comes to me with all the good deeds of all the prophets, I will not accept them from him.

Such a powerful PROMISE by Allah notice the ‘I swear by My Glory’!

Brothers and Sisters when we are young we need the support of our parents.
When parents are old they need the support of me and you.

Could we ever dare to think about leaving our parents after all they have done soo much for us?

No entry into Jannah without the MOTHER BEING PLEASED

http://islamgreatreligion.wordpress.com/2009/05/18/my-mother-love-of-mother/